“9 Rules from Chris Pratt, Generation Award Winner.”

Only Chris Pratt can turn pooping techniques into an inspirational speech for the young generation.

The Star Lord actor’s acceptance speech for Generation Award at the 2018 MTV Movie & TV Awards has been making its rounds in social media.

It’s not that you should agree with all or any of Chris Pratt’s 9 rules for life. It’s that Pratt took on the responsibility of sharing with the younger generation how he conducts himself in the world … with grace and humility and … plenty of humor. We should be free to examine his ideas, question them and decide for ourselves what values we should act out. But whatever you believe, please remember to flush!

“9 Rules from Chris Pratt, Generation Award Winner.”

1.) “Breath. If you don’t you’ll suffocate.”

2.) “You have a soul. Be careful with it.”

3.) “Don’t. Be. A turd. If you’re strong, be a protector. And if you’re smart, be a humble influencer. Strength and intelligence can be weapons, don’t wield them against the weak. That makes you a bully. Be bigger than that.”

4.) “When giving a dog medicine, put it in a little piece of hamburger, they won’t even know they’re eating medicine.”

5.) “It doesn’t matter what it is. Earn it. A good deed, reach out to someone in pain, be of service it feels good and it’s good for your soul.”

6.) “God is real. God loves you. God wants the best for you, believe that, I do.”

7.) “If you have to poop at a party, but you’re embarrassed because you’re gonna stink up the bathroom. Just do what I do. Lock the door, sit down, get all the pee out first. Okay. And then, once all the pees done. Poop. Flush. Boom. You minimize the amount of time that the poop is touching the air, because if you poop first, then it takes you longer to pee, and then you’re peeing on top of the poop stirring it up, and then the poop particles create a cloud that goes out and then everyone in the party will know, that you pooped. Just tru- Just trust me! It’s science!”

8.) “Learn to pray. It’s easy, and it’s so good for your soul.”

9.) “Nobody is perfect. People are gonna tell you you’re perfect just the way you are – you’re not! You are imperfect. You always will be, but, there is a powerful force that designed you that way, and if you’re willing to accept that. You will have grace. And grace is a gift. And like the freedom we enjoy in this country that grace was payed for with somebody else’s blood. Do not forget it. Don’t take it for granted.”

The speech transcription is from a youtuber.

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About Eddie@Jaccendo

Movies, TV shows, comics, and video game news & review.

Posted on June 24, 2018, in Funny Videos and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. To think I would have missed this if not for you…thanks?

  2. What a lot of shit. But seriously I hate talk about …that stuff. However I like the other stuff.

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